Until Death Do Us Part
by Hades3
Summary: *FINISHED* Hades loses her best friend, boyfriend, soulmate, and father of her unborn child...all in the same person. How will she cope with her loss? How can she survive without him? CAN she survive without him?
1. I Need You

TITLE: Till Death Do Us Part AUTHOR: Hades [Kristina] RATING: R - for profane language, and some.unusual situations. EMAIL: FireEyez8602@aol.com SUMMARY: Hades' loses her best friend, boyfriend, one true love, and the father of her unborn baby.all in one person. She begins to go insane, not able to live without him. How can she learn to cope? How will she deal with this, and what will she do to get over it? ... WILL she get over it?  
  
((( ( (((  
  
"I love you, Hades." Mush said quietly, holding onto her hand. He was lying in the sick room with his girlfriend of three years, Hades, at his side. His eyes were filled with pain, but there was a sense of peace in them. "Never forget about me, okay?"  
  
"Mush, stop talking like that!" Hades begged, holding back her tears.  
  
Mush kissed her hand, although he was barely able to. He was so weak. "Take care of the baby.you'll be a great mother."  
  
"Mushy, we're gonna take care of the baby.you an' me.." Hades' voice quivered.  
  
Mush looked at her lovingly. "You're so beautiful." He whispered.  
  
A single tear fell from Hades' eye and slid down her cheek. "I love you, Mushy.more than anything. PLEASE don't leave me.."  
  
"I never will." He replied simply. "I just wish.that I would've had time to ask you to marry me.and give you this ring." He pulled a small blue box out of his pocket and looked at it.  
  
Another tear escaped Hades' eye.  
  
"It's too late now." Mush said regretfully.  
  
"No! No it's not! Ask me, Mushy! Ask me! We'll get married, have the baby, and be together forever an' ever!"  
  
Mush smiled sadly and opened the box, taking the ring from it. "Gabriel.will you marry me?" He slid the ring onto her finger.  
  
Hades laughed, wiping her eyes. "Yes.of course." She looked at the ring, and its stone of sparkling violet. "I love you." She said quietly and kissed his lips gently.  
  
"I love you more." Mush whispered as his breathing fell short, and he closed his eyes. His chest no longer rose and fell, and his body went limp, his hand still in Hades'.  
  
Hades let her tears flow freely now. "NO!" She screamed through her sobs. She laid her head on his chest, crying hysterically. She lifted her head and looked at his face; he looked so peaceful. She closed her eyes tightly as her hot tears stung her eyes. "NOOO!" She screamed again. She stood up, only to fall to her knees and cry. "Why?!" She yelled. "Why did you leave me?!" She then sobbed quietly. She slowly pulled herself to her feet and ran from the room and down the stairs.  
  
"Whoa, whoa! What are you doing? Why are you crying?! What's wrong?!" Bottle Cap, one of Hades' best friends, asked her worriedly.  
  
"HE'S DEAD BOTTLE CAP! HE'S FUCKING DEAD!" Hades yelled.  
  
Bottle Cap gasped and her eyes widened. "W-What?"  
  
Hades sobbed uncontrollably. "He's dead."She whispered. "Gone.gone forever."  
  
Bottle Cap was at a loss for words. She couldn't even imagine what Hades was feeling. "Hades.I-I'm so sorry."  
  
"He's gone Bottle Cap.all of him. All I have left of him this baby. And Jesus Christ! I can't fucking raise a kid by myself!" She sat down on the stairs, looking helpless, hurt, and empty.  
  
Bottle Cap stood motionless as Hades cried. She couldn't believe that Mush was dead. When he got Typhoid, they all were sure he'd recover. He had never done anything wrong to anyone. He had always been so respectful of everyone.so sweet, so kind. He and Hades were so deeply in love.Hades was almost four months pregnant with his child, and Bottle Cap knew that Mush had been planning to propose to Hades when he got better. He had so much more living to do.but, he was taken away. Gone forever. None of them would ever see Mush living.ever again. It scared Bottle Cap.  
  
"He didn't deserve to die." Aisling, Hades' other best friend, said, coming to stand beside Bottle Cap. She had been standing in the front door the whole time.  
  
Hades looked up at her two best friends; her face was red, and stained with tears and dirt. "I need him." Her voice was scared and shaky.  
  
"Well," Aisling started. "You have him.well, part of him at least. You said it yourself.you have the baby. Mush put that baby in you, Hades. And when it's born, you'll be able to see Mush in your child's face, everyday." She said comfortingly.  
  
Hades placed her hand on her slightly rounded stomach. "Mushy." She said softly as fresh tears fell from her swollen, red eyes. "I need you.I need you! Damnit! I fucking need you!" She yelled the last sentence loudly.  
  
Bottle Cap took a step towards Hades, but Aisling grabbed her arm and stopped her.  
  
"I need you." Hades sobbed, burying her face in her hands. 


	2. I Do

Hades sat beside the bed where Mush's body still lied. She stared at him with empty eyes, rarely blinking, and never taking her gave off of him. She saw the small box that her ring had been in, laying next to his body, and she glanced down at the ring sitting upon her dirty finger. "I'll never be able to really marry you." She mumbled. "But I have to.I have to.I HAVE TO!" She jumped up and ran from the room. She fled down the stairs, out the front door, and onto the street. She tore down the sidewalk, heading for the nearest church.  
  
**  
  
Kloppman watched her run from the lodging house. He didn't know what she was doing, and frankly, he didn't WANT to know. He had been afraid of what Hades' reaction to Mush's death would be. He had known for some time that Mush was going to die. Ever since he caught Typhoid, he had known. Nearly all of the newsies had known, actually. Kloppman guessed that Hades knew also, but she just wouldn't let herself believe it. And now that Mush had in fact died. Hades was near to literal insanity, confirming Kloppman's prediction. But, he decided he'd better not get in her way. He knew her reputation. and when Hades was mad, you DIDN'T provoke her anger further. In fact, every newsie in New York that had heard about Mush's death had decided on the same thing Kloppman had. and that was to just leave Hades alone. Which may or may not have helped her in the end.  
  
**  
  
Hades burst through the doors of the sanctuary door. A kindly old priest looked up, a bit startled by this sudden interruption. "Hello my child, and welcome!" He said. "What brings you to the house of our Lord?" He then asked in his kindly old priest voice.  
  
Hades ran to him and shook him by the shoulders. "I HAVE TO MARRY HIM!" She yelled.  
  
The priest, who will call Father Winston, was taken aback by Hades' aggression. "Marry who?"  
  
Hades shook him again. "Mush! I have to marry Mush! Now! Right now!"  
  
Father Winston's eyes widened. The gleam in Hades' eyes frightened him. He wondered if she was devil-possessed.  
  
When Father Winston didn't reply to her, Hades shook him more violently. "I HAVE TO MARRY HIM!"  
  
"W-Where is this 'Mush' you speak of, Miss?" He asked timidly.  
  
"HE'S DEAD!" She screamed, busting into sobs. "I have to marry him!" She sobbed, clutching Father Winton's sleeves as her knees gave out and she began to slide to the floor.  
  
Father Winston pulled her back to her feet. "M-M-Miss. I can't marry you to a deceased man." He stuttered.  
  
"YOU HAVE TO!" Hades screamed through her tears.  
  
"Bu-" Father Winston started, but was interrupted almost before he began.  
  
"NO!" Hades screeched and shook him once more. "YOU HAVE TO BIND ME TO HIM! I HAVE TO MARRY HIM! I NEED HIM!" Her last words echoed eerily throughout the sanctuary, sending chills up the back of Father Winston's spine.  
  
"A-Alright!" He finally agreed - only out of fear.  
  
Hades immediately grabbed his wrist and pulled him down the aisle and out the door, leading him to the lodging house.  
  
**  
  
Father Winston performed the ceremony in fear. His voice quivered nearly the whole time. He had never had anything like this happen before. Sure, he had seen devil-possessed people, but nothing like this Hades girl. He began to think she might have actually BEEN the real Hades. He had heard rumors of the Devil appearing in different forms on earth, just to test, and frighten the followers of God. He shivered at the thought that he might've actually been standing in the same room as the Devil.  
  
"You may now kiss.the uh, the groom." He concluded the very uncomfortable and disturbing ceremony.  
  
Hades leaned down and pressed her lips to Mush's and kissed them sweetly. In her heard and mind, she longed to feel his lips on her skin. Her heart ached as she thought about how he would never touch her, kiss her, talk to her, smile at her, feel her, make love to her, or see her ever again. She desired all those things from him. But he couldn't give them to her. She wished with everything she had that she could have just one more day with him. Just one more day of him by her side, giving her that loving look he always gave her.  
  
As she pulled away from his lips, a tear fell from her cheek, onto Mush's forehead. Hades leaned down and kissed the tear away, as he had done to her so many times before. "I love you." She whispered, brushed the back of her hand against his cold cheek.  
  
Without another word, Father Winston quickly exited the room. He couldn't stand to stay in there any longer. He silently concluded that he would never recover from that experience.  
  
**  
  
Hades crawled under the covers and snuggled close to Mush's body. She shivered. He was cold.  
  
Aisling walked into the room and cringed when she saw Hades in the bed wit Mush's lifeless body. "Hades, why was there a priest in here?" She asked, and decided not to say anything about being in the bed with Mush.  
  
Hades didn't look up, but she replied simply, "He married me and Mush." 


	3. You Could Never Know

"Uhh.Hades, Mush is dead." Aisling said quietly.  
  
Hades glanced up. "I don't care. I had to marry him." She answered, clinging to Mush's body.  
  
Aisling blinked. She didn't understand how you could get married to a dead person. "Well, I made arrangements for Mush's funeral. It's the day after tomorrow at noon."  
  
"NO!" Hades yelped. "Don't take him away!"  
  
"Hades!" Aisling snapped. "AS much as we all hate it, Mush is dead! And when someone died, you have to burry them. you have to let go!"  
  
Hades sobbed into Mush's chest. "No! I'll never let go! NEVERE! I can't! I won't! I don't want to!"  
  
"Lissen to me, Hades!" Aisling started, she had gotten to be very worried about her best friend. "You are in a bed with a dead body. it's not healthy or sanitary!" She tried to explain.  
  
"I don't care!" Hades said and sniffled.  
  
"Well you should! You could get sick and die!"  
  
"Good!" Hades shouted. "I hope I do die!"  
  
"What about your baby?! What about you and Mush's CHILD? The child that Mush made inside of you, because he LOVED YOU, Hades. He LOVED you! He would've wanted to you raise the baby, and love the baby. he would have wanted you to pass your love for him to the baby!"  
  
Hades listened to Aisling silently and then got up and threw herself into Aisling's arms, sobbing into her shoulder. "I miss him so much!" She managed to choke out.  
  
"I know. I know." Aisling stroked Hades' hair.  
  
"No you don't! No. You. Don't." Hades cried harder. "You could never know how much I miss him. how much I need him. how much." She gasped for air. "How much I loved him."  
  
Aisling held Hades' trembling body as she looked at Mush. And then it hit her. Mush was dead. He was gone. He would never tell another joke, and be the only one to laugh at it, he would never stroll into Tibby's with that stupid grin after he and Hades had been 'selling papers', he would never swim in the river again, he would never sneak out with Hades at night to take a walk in the moonlight, he would never hold his own child. A tear crawled down Aislin'gs cheek, and she laid her chin on top of Hades' head. "You're right." She whispered. "I don't know." 


	4. Authors NoteDisclaimer

DISCLAIMER/AUTHORS NOTE:  
  
Hey everyone! Alright. First off.I do not own any of the Disney Newsies. and Aisling & Bottle Cap own themselves. as do any other character from the NML that might be making a cameo in the story. I [Hades/Tina] own my character, Hades.  
  
Second. This is a really weird story. I was in a really weird mood, so uhh yeah. LoL, it's really disturbing and strange in some parts. But hey! I think it's pretty good! LoL- so, I'm sorry if I've freaked you out in some parts of the story. But yeahhh. keep the reviews coming! I like to know what you people think about my work. Love ya all! And you'll see more chapters up soon!  
  
Paz, * TiNa MaRiE/HaDeS * 


	5. Until We Meet Again

"We come here today, to rest the soul of Connor Nicholas Meyers." The priest said as all the newsies stood around a deep hole in the ground, with a brown coffin in it. It was drizzling and there was a cold wind blowing. Hades was dressed in an all black dress, that Medda had lent her. Her long straight here hung down over her back and breast, and hung over the sides of her face. Her pale skin nearly glowed. Her eyes were empty, except for the tears that were forming. Her soft lips were pressed loosely together, and she remained silent, all but the screaming voices in her head.  
  
It was the day of Mush's funeral. A day that Hades knew would hang in her memory forever. She choked back her tears as she listened to the gentle, raspy voice of the priest. "His life was cut short. with so much still left to do," the priest continued, "but our Lord works in mysterious ways. and obviously, Connor's life was meant to endure not on earth, but in Heaven."  
  
"What is life, anyway?" Hades asked herself as she looked up at the rustling leaves at the top of the trees. She looked around at all of her friends, most of which were crying. "Stupid bastards." She thought. "You'll never miss him like I do."  
  
The priest went on for a bit longer, rambling about Mush and his life. Hades didn't care what he was saying. She wasn't listening; her mind was filing through her memories, searching for anything that involved Mush. She thought of his hands, his eyes, his ears, his lips. she missed everything about him.  
  
"And, it is to my understanding, that Connor had a last will." The priest said gently, nodding at Blink, who stood beside the priest and cleared his throat. "Mush left this will. I guess he knew he was gonna.die." Blink's voice was shaky and sorrowful. It was obvious to Hades that he had been crying. "Um, he left all of his things to just three people. I'll uh, read this now." He sniffled, wiped his eyes, and continued. "To Jack- I leave my deepest gratitude. You saved me and brought me to the lodging house. You were my friend, and even though you never laughed at my jokes, I love you. You were like a brother to me.thank you for caring." Blink paused and glanced at Jack, who had his head in his hands. "And to Blink, I leave all of our memories as best friend. You were always there when I needed you. We had some great times. and I leave to you my old selling spot, my love as a brother, and I also leave you my Gabriel to take care of. I love you Blink." Blink's lip quivered, but he refrained from crying. "And to my Hades. My Gabriel. My Gabey-Baby. I leave EVERYTHING. You were, and are, everything to me. I love you more than any amount of words could explain. And I know that our child is going to be beautiful - just like you. You gave me such a natural high. like I was floating in mid-air. you did so much for me, Gabe. more than you know. And I love you. PS, there's something for you in the secret spot." Blink looked up at Hades, and they made eye contact as tears fell silently from Hades' eyes. Blink folded the papers and slipped it into his pocket. He let removed himself from the spot he was standing in, and went and stood by Hades. He took her hands into his, and held it - hoping to comfort her a little. Hades smiled weakly and clasped his hand. Blink understood what she was felling, to a degree. He had lost his best friend, his only real friend. But Hades had lost much more than that.  
  
The two stood silently, hand-in-hand, while the priest finished. As he did, each attendant threw a handful of soil onto the top of Mush's casket. Hades threw three handpicked roses, also. One for each year her and Mush were together. "Until we meet again." She whispered and walked away. Blink, who had been waiting for her, took her hand once again. "You okay?" He asked.  
  
"No." Hades answered unemotionally. "Come with me."  
  
"Where?" Blink questioned as they started to walk.  
  
"The secret spot."  
  
"You sure you want me to come?"  
  
Hades looked over at him. "I'm scared to go alone."  
  
Blink nodded in understanding. "Okay. I'll come."  
  
"You're the only one who understands, you know." She told Blink, still looking at him.  
  
Blink squeezed her hand. "I don't think anyone else wants to understand." 


	6. A Light in the Dark

AUTHORs NOTE! WOOO!  
  
Hey guys! Thank you all so much for the awesome reviews. I feel kinda bad that I'm making all you people cry, lol, but then again, I don't, because it's a huge compliment! I totally doubted that this story would be accepted and liked- but I guess I was wrong! LoL- Thank you guys! Keep the reviews comin'! Oh yeah, and to answer Mist's question, no, I don't think there's gonna be any romance between Hades and Blink, he's just there as comfort for her. but ya never know! (  
  
* TiNa MaRiE/HaDeS *  
  
  
  
******************************************  
  
Hades led Blink down into the lodging house basement, and opened a door that led into a small room with a few boxes spread out over the floor.  
  
"Is this the secret spot?" Blink asked, breaking the long silence that had prevailed for much too long.  
  
Hades shook her head. "No." She walked to the far left corner of the room, bent down and lifted up five attached floorboards, revealing a short flight of stairs. Hades reached out her arms and grabbed Blink's hand and led him down into the cool darkness. They reached the landing and Hades released Blink's hand to light a match. She lit a candle and the room began to glow dimly in the orange light.  
  
"This," Hades pronounced, "is the secret spot."  
  
Blink shivered as he looked around. "Its so cold."  
  
Hades smiled slightly, seeming to recall something. "Me and Mush usta' cuddle up under that blanket." She pointed to a big patchwork quilt on the ground. "We would just sit here and talk. or do. other things." She say down and wrapped the quilt around her and reached for a music box lying nearby. She opened it. "It's broken." She said quietly as the flame from the candle flickered. "Funny. It wasn't broken two days ago."  
  
Blink looked at Hades' face in the ever-moving candlelight. She looked tired and lonely. And in her eyes he saw the cold presence of fear. Blink sat down next to Hades. He pitied her.  
  
Hades shared the quilt with Blink, and took a folded piece of paper from the music box. She unfolded it gently.  
  
"Its from Mush.?" Blink questioned.  
  
Hades nodded and began to read quietly out loud.  
  
"My Gabriel. I'm so sorry to leave you. I loved - and still love - you more than anything I the word. You were my love, my friend, my life. I will miss running my hands through your hair, and feeling your lips against mine. I'll miss running my fingers over your skin, and your beautiful eyes gazing into me. I'll miss the feeling I would get every time I saw you. And I'll miss your smile, and your laugh. and your hands, your ears, your nose, your lips, your eyes, your breath- taking beauty."  
  
Hades let out a single sob as tears sprang form her eyes. "I can't read this." She said, her voice quivering.  
  
"Shh." Blink wrapped his arms around her. "Do you want me to read it to you?"  
  
Hades nodded and leaned her head on his shoulder. She wiped the stinging tears from her eyes, only to have more leap foreward.  
  
Blink took the paper and began reading where Hades had left off.  
  
"I hope you're not mad at me for leaving you. especially with our baby on the way. I know you'll be a great mother, Hades. And tell our child that I loved him (or her!) very much. and don't let him (or her!) forget me. Even thought they'll never know me. Don't let them forget, okay? There's so much I want to say to you. and I don't know how to say half of it. And I know it's my last chance. You meant - and mean - everything to me. You always have, and you always will. Nobody has ever cared about me like you have. Nobody ever truly loved me before I met you. You made such a big impact on my life, and completely turned my whole world upside down. You did so much for me. And every moment I spent with you, was a moment in Heaven, and was sure as hell better than any Heaven that I'll be going to. I love you more than words can explain. it's impossible to even BEGIN to tell you how much I love you. All I can say is that I always loved you more than my own life, more than all the riches in the world, more than all the stars in the sky. more than ANYTHING. And even that isn't even CLOSE to how much I love you. And I'll always be with you. Right by your side. In your heart, and in your soul. Take me with you everywhere you go. And take care of Blink for me. I'm guessing he's with you right now. so maybe I should say: Blink, take care of Gabey-Baby for me. and Hades - you're gorgeous. You're amazing. You're mine forever, and I am yours. I love you.  
  
Your Guardian Angel, Connor Nicholas Meyers. Your Mush"  
  
Blink finished reading, and the room fell silent. Until Hades burst into tears and began rolling around on the floor and screaming.  
  
Blink guarded the candle and watched her sympathetically. "I NEED HIM!" She screamed for close to the millionth time since Mush had died. She suddenly lied still and sobbed quietly and continuously. "My whole world is dark." She cried softly.  
  
"Well. well Hades look. look at the candle." Blink told her.  
  
Hades looked up at stared at the flame. "What about it?" She asked, her tears shining in the light.  
  
"It's a light. A light in the dark. This room is completely dark. except for the candle. It's a light in complete darkness. there's a candle in every darkness." Blink explained, trying to comfort her.  
  
Hades looked over at him with tear-filled eyes. "Yeah. But candles eventually burn out." 


	7. When The Time Comes

"Oh Hades." Blink mumbled and cradled her in his arms.  
  
Hades clung to Blink and sobbed into his shoulder. She hurt so badly. She couldn't even describe it. It felt as though her insides had all been slowly pulled from her body and ripped apart. She was cold and empty.  
  
Blink peered into the music box and saw a small bundle wrapped in newspaper. He took it out. "Hades, there was something else in the music box." He said quietly. Hades looked up from her sobbing and took the small package and gently unwrapped it. It was Mush's gold pocket watch. "Mush's watch." Hades whispered as a small piece of paper fell from the piece of newspaper. Blink picked it up and read it to Hades:  
  
"Here is my watch. to tell you when it's time to see me again."  
  
Hades sniffled as she held the watch in her hand and lightly ran her fingers over the cover, and then opened it up to reveal the face. The faint ticking echoed in her ears. She wondered when it would be time to see Mush. and how she would know. 'What did Mushy mean? ' She asked herself, and then shivered. She looked around and nearly smiled. So many memories filled her mind.  
  
*BEGIN FLASHBACK*  
  
"Hiya Hades.." Mush said timidly, looking up at Hades sitting on the branch of a tree in Central Park.  
  
Hades smiled as the wind blew through her hair. "Hey Mush."  
  
"Whaddya doin?" He asked.  
  
Hades shrugged. "Oh nothin'."  
  
Mush nodded and looked up at her again. "You'se so beautiful." He whispered, thinking aloud.  
  
"Huh?" Hades questioned, hearing what he said, but not wanting to embarrass him.  
  
"Oh uh. nothing." Mush blushed bright red.  
  
"Oh, okay." She shrugged. "Wanna come sit with me?"  
  
Mush's face brightened. "Shoah!" He climbed up the tree and sat on the branch, beside Hades. He looked over at her, and then quickly looked away when he saw that she as looking at him.  
  
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Each thinking about the other.  
  
"So uh." Hades finally spoke. "How are ya?"  
  
"Oh, I'm fine." Mush answered. "Whadda bout you?"  
  
"I'm good. ya know, same ole' thing. sellin' and tryin' ta make a livin, and ya know-"  
  
"Hades," Mush interrupted, "be quiet."  
  
Hades opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, Mush's lips were pressed against hers. She closed her eyes and returned the kiss, smiling against his lips as she melted into his arms.  
  
Mush pulled away slowly and gazed into her big, brown eyes. "Hades?"  
  
"Hm?" She gazed back at him.  
  
"Will. Will you be my girl?" He asked softly.  
  
Hades smiled and leaned over and kissed him deeply.  
  
"Is that a yes?" He whispered, barely taking his lips from hers.  
  
Hades laughed and kissed him again.  
  
*END FLASHBACK*  
  
Hades wiped the tears trickling down her cheeks. She looked at Mush's pocket watch, glinting in the candlelight Its image blurred by her tears. "I wanna see him." She whispered, trying not to cry.  
  
"You will." Blink assured her softly.  
  
"But when?"  
  
"When the time comes, Hades. When the time comes." 


	8. Whispers

"When the time comes." Hades thought as she walked down the darkening streets, the fallen leaves crinkling beneath the weight of her dirty shoes.  
  
"I'll see him when the time comes." She kept reassuring herself. "But when will it come?"  
  
She had her hand placed gently on her stomach. She couldn't forget about the baby. who needed a mother to care for her. "I'll take care of you, little baby." She said out-loud to her barely-rounded belly. "I'll love you and be a really good mother. and I'll tell you all about your wonderful daddy." She choked back her tears and forced a small smile onto her lips.  
  
She thought she heard a faint voice somewhere in the distance, coming from somewhere past the sunset, telling her that everything wasn't completely lost. and there was still hope. "But hope for what?" She asked aloud, not knowing whom exactly she was talking to.  
  
She sighed and continued walking, until she reached the docks of Brooklyn. She sat down and hung her feet out over the water. She studied the sky and the sun, sinking below the horizon, as a cool breeze blew across her face and through her hair. The air smelt faintly of roses, and honey, and of fallen autumn leaves from the tired autumn trees. And in that moment, on that brisk October evening, Hades was at peace.  
  
But among all the whispers dancing through the air that night, it was the quiet whisper of warning that Hades didn't hear. 


	9. Reflections

Hades looked up at the newly risen moon and sighed. She gazed into the dark water at her reflection. "Who are you, anyway?" She asked the image in the water that was staring up at her. "Who are you without Mushy?" She said softly and imagined Mush's reflection beside her own. She began to sing softly, in a quiet, but clear and beautiful voice:  
  
"As the moon kindles the night, As the wind kindles the fire, As the rain fills every ocean And the sun, the earth. Your heart will kindle my heart. Take my heart, take my heart, Kindle it with your heart, And my heart cannot be, Kindled without you. With your heart kindle my heart." **  
  
A silent tear fell from her cheek and fell into the water, interrupting her reflection and sending it into scattered ripples. "Why'd you leave me?" She asked. "Why'd you leave me all alone?"  
  
Spot, who had been watching her the whole time, looked at her with sympathy. He approached her slowly and silently.  
  
"Hi Spot." Hades said without even looking.  
  
"Hi Hades." He sat down beside her.  
  
She looked over at him, wiping away her tears. "Whaddya doin?"  
  
"Just comin' to make sure you'se okay." He told her quietly.  
  
Hades shrugged.  
  
"I'm real sorry. 'bout everything." Spot said, looking at her pale, moonlit face.  
  
"Me too." She whispered.  
  
"Hades?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Spot cleared his throat. "You ain't all alone, ya know. I mean, I can be here for you. if you want me to."  
  
Hades looked over at his concerned face and smiled slightly. "Thank, Spot."  
  
He smiled a little. He and Hades had been best friends since they were 7, and Spot would do anything for her. "You know I'd do anything for you, Hades."  
  
"I know, Spot. I know." She patted his leg lightly.  
  
Spot pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her neck softly.  
  
Hades drew in a slow, shaky breath. Oh how good it felt to be held, to feel soft lips on her skin.  
  
Spot kissed her ear, her cheek, and then leaned his forehead against hers, his lips inches from hers, his warm breath mingling with hers. He kissed her lips softly and pulled away slowly.  
  
Hades looked up at him. She hadn't realized how badly she needed to be held, To be kissed, to he loved. Then, a split-second image of Mush flashed in her head. "What am I doing?" She asked herself in confusion. "I love Mush."  
  
"Hades?" Spot said quietly, his hands on her cheeks.  
  
"What?" She averted her eyes to the ground.  
  
Spot took a deep breath. "I love you."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
** Song from The Little Princess [the movie] 


	10. Unforgetable

Hades immediately pulled away from him. "No Spot, no!" She scrambled to her feet.  
  
Spot stood up also. "What? Why not?!"  
  
"I love Mush.I love him, I need him! Not you!" She croaked, fresh tears welling in up in her tired eyes.  
  
"Hades, I just-"  
  
"No! You don't even know what love is! You don't know how it feels to love somebody so much, to need them so badly, to give them your heart, your soul, and your life.and then have them taken away and buried underground to rot away and to be forgotten! Just like all the memories!" Hades began to break down into violent sobs.  
  
"Hades, you need to move on.you NEED to forget." Spot began.  
  
"NO! I WON'T forget him!" Hades screamed and ran from the docks; away from Spot, away from the water and her reflection. Tears blocked her vision. It was dark.and cold. As she ran, all the shadows were combined into one. "He's forgotten Mush.they all have, I bet! Well I won't.I won't ever!" She shouted inside her head. "They WANT me to forget.they don't want me to remember him.but I will. I ALWAYS will." She climbed the fire escape up to the roof of the lodging house. She sat on the edge of the roof, hugging her knees to her chest. She gazed at the full moon, sitting gracefully against the black, star-filled sky.  
  
"In the blowing of the cool night wind, in the falling of the crisp white snow, in the beauty of the autumn, in the re-birth of the gentle spring.I remember him." The words she whispered rolled off her tongue like poetry, gently diminishing into the starlit night, and the thick silence consuming her tired body.  
  
"Spot doesn't love me. Nobody loves me. Spot DOES NOT love me.He doesn't even know what love is." She said inaudibly. And it was partly true. Spot cared about her immensely - but he didn't love her. Not like he thought he did, anyway. He had mistaken his sympathy for her as love.as many do. "Nobody loves me. Nobody understands.Why did you leave me Mush? Why did you leave me here to wither away into nothing! That's what I've become. A nothing. A nobody! Is that what you wanted?!" Her body began to tremble with sobs. "GOD! I need you, Mush! I miss you.ITS NOT FAIR!" She yelled, and her voice echoed off the walls. "It's not fair!" She said more quietly, burying her face in her knees and letting her tears fall freely.  
  
"It's not fair!" She thought. "Not fair to me, not fair to you, not fair to our child!" Thoughts raced through her head. "They baby will be miserable with a mother like me.I'll have no patience.no tolerance.no strength without you. YOU were my strength! You were my world! And my whole world has died.And nobody understands, or even cares."  
  
"Let the baby be your strength. Let the baby be your world." The thought sprang into her mind, though she was certain it wasn't hers.  
  
"The baby? . The baby! Yes, my baby!" She looked down at her stomach and wiped her eyes. "My baby.Mush's baby." She whispered.  
  
Yes. The baby would be her strength, and her world. In all her agony she had nearly forgotten that her baby was a part of Mush.the ONLY part of Mush that she had left. And at that moment, Hades vowed to love her baby, and be the best mother she could. Just like Mush would have wanted her to do. A new hope leapt from Hades' heart.Though the pain from Mush's death was nowhere near gone.  
  
And in her new hope, Hades once again didn't hear the whispers of warning that were still whipping through the night wind. 


	11. Never Be Free

Hades descended down into the boys' bunkroom and cuddled up under the cool blankets of Mush's old bed. She lay awake for sometime. Just laying, thinking, daydreaming. She listened to the soft, rhythmic breathing of the other boys, and remembered how Mush's light breathing used to soothe her, and how the rise and fall of his chest would gently rock her to sleep, and especially how his slow, soft heartbeat would be her sweet lullaby. She would've given anything just to lay her head on his strong chest just once more. She wondered how long life would go on like this. A never-ending struggle.full of unbearable pain and emptiness. Would it all stop when the baby was born? Ah, the baby.yes. It would all end. All the pain and loneliness would be done when the baby came.  
  
Her thoughts drifted from one thing to another.Mainly they swelled on Mush, the baby, and then Spot. Why? Why did Spot want her to forget Mush? She frowned and buried her face in Mush's pillow. She took a deep breath, just to catch the faint scent of Mush. How could she forget him? Why would she want to? It was impossible.  
  
"Why is life so painful?" She asked herself silently. "Why is life so unfair?" Why did she gave to fall so madly in love with Mush? Why did she ever meet him? . But if she had never fallen in love with him, or if she had never met him, then what would her life be? What was her life now, without him? Maybe it was more logical to ask herself why he had to die. Yes, that was much more logical. Why did he have to die? Why? Why would he leave her? He knew he was leaving her all alone.All alone to raise their baby, but, he still left. Maybe he couldn't help it.maybe he wasn't strong enough. But if he had really loved her, he would've held on. He wouldn't have left. But he DID love her, so why did he leave? She was so confused. He head was spinning, her stomach was empty, and her heart.was broken.  
  
She hated Spot for bringing back all the pain. She had actually been at peace. But now, because of Spot, the pain was back. "Oh well," She started to think, "it's not like it wouldn't have come back anyway." She sighed. "I'll never be free." She whispered as her tears soaked into the pillow. She would be trapped forever. Trapped in this meaningless world. Trapped in her exhausted little body. Lost in the perpetual pain of a wound. cut by a knife. A hole than ran deeper than imaginable. 


	12. Alone In The Dark

"Hades, please, just stay here!" Bottle Cap pleaded, hanging onto Hades' sleeve.  
  
"Yeah, Hades, it's dark out, just stay home." Aisling said, hanging onto Hades' other sleeve.  
  
"Lemme go!" Hades squirmed around from their grip. "I'll be fine! I jus' wanna go for a walk.ALONE." She slipped out the front door and began wandering down the sidewalk.  
  
"Should we follow her?" Whispered Bottle Cap to Aisling.  
  
Aisling shook her head. "No. It she wants to be alone, we should let her."  
  
Bottle Cap nodded slowly in agreement, but looked worriedly after Hades. It was dark, and Bottle Cap knew the danger that lurked in the streets after nightfall.  
  
Hades, alone at last, walked silently down the street. She had to get out of the lodging house. She had felt like she was being suffocated in there. It was poker night, and everyone was prancing around and acting like nothing had ever happened. Most of them didn't speak to Hades. They acted like she wasn't even there, and that she wasn't hurting, and that nothing was wrong. They were too afraid to being Hades' violent and angry nature to the surface.  
  
"Hmph!" Hades huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Well that's fine!" She said. "I don't need 'em!"  
  
"Aw, aint dat cute, Morris? She's tawlkin' to herself!" Said a voice from behind her.  
  
Hades spun around, startled. She rolled her eyes when she saw it was none other than Oscar and Morris Delancey. "Shove it, Oscar." She said, and turned to continue walking.  
  
'I was just tryin' to be nice, Miss Hades!" Oscar said innocently.  
  
"Bull shit." Hades kept walking.  
  
"You're a real bitch, ya know that?" Oscar sneered at her.  
  
"You'se real ugly, ya know that?" Hades shot back, not in the mood for his little games.  
  
Oscar snarled and looked at her hatefully. He had always hated Hades. He picked up his pace until he was walking right beside her. He flashed her a cruel, crooked toothed smile.  
  
"What do you want?! Leave me alone. I aint in the mood." Hades demanded.  
  
"That's too bad I don't care!" Oscar commented and pushed her.  
  
Hades glared at him and then resumed walking.  
  
"Whats this? Hades, the toughest newsie in th' biz aint gonna fight back?" Oscar mocked her and laughed, his voice full of malicious cold-heartedness.  
  
"I said leave me alone." Hades said threateningly - although she had no intention of fighting back at all. She didn't have the strength.  
  
"What if I don't wanna?" Oscar questioned.  
  
Hades ignored him, but she was losing patience. She just wanted to be alone, was that so much to ask?  
  
Oscar, in the mood for a little fun, pushed her again - harder, causing her to stumble, but not fall.  
  
Morris, knowing that Hades was pregnant, didn't think it was right to beat up on her.but he knew Oscar didn't know she was pregnant, and he didn't want to tell him.it might provoke him to do more damage on her. He bit his lip, not knowing what to do.  
  
"C'mon you whore!" Oscar insulted, shoving her ruthlessly against a wall.  
  
"Oscar." Morris started, fearing things were about to get out of hand.  
  
"Shut-up Morris! If you don't want to participate in the fun, then you can just keep your mouth shut!" Oscar said to his brother and then turned his attention back to Hades. "Now.where was I? Oh yes! I was just about to beat the shit out of this worthless whore." He put emphasis on the word 'whore' coldly.  
  
Hades growled and spit in his face. "Bastard." She cursed at him.  
  
Oscar, enraged, threw his fist into her jaw, hard.  
  
Hades winced, feeling the blood trickle from her lip.  
  
Oscar laughed evilly and hurled another punch into her lower stomach.  
  
Hades gasped in pain as she clutched her stomach.  
  
"How do ya like that? Huh?!" Oscar yelled and threw an even harder punch into the same. He cackled as he did it again, and again, and then again.  
  
Hades cried out in extreme pain and stumbled to her right - falling over a pile of boxes. She clutched her stomach and curled up into a ball, the pain spreading throughout her entire body. It felt like someone was continuously stabbing her with thousands of razor sharp knives.  
  
Oscar smiled in satisfaction and kicked her as hard as he could - the tip of his heavy boot smashing right into her stomach.  
  
Hades screamed, feeling like she was being strangled, stabbed, and ripped apart. "You fucker!" She screamed before everything went black - and she remembered no more.  
  
"You dumbass!" Morris yelled.  
  
"What!" Oscar replied, fully prepared to defend himself.  
  
"She's pregnant, Oscar." Morris informed him.  
  
Oscar's eyes widened. He wasn't prepared for THAT. "I - she - I mean, uh.but.-" He stuttered.  
  
"You're an idiot, Oscar!" Morris yelled. "Let's get out of here quick." He said and they both ran from the scene. Leaving Hades alone in the dark. Unconscious and abused. Defenseless and confused. Weak and wounded. 


	13. Faith

"Doc! Doc, she's wakin' up!" Hades heard Bottle Cap's voice as her eyes fluttered open slowly. She was nearly blinded by the sunlight pouring in from the window. She tried to sit up, but collapsed onto her back as pain shot through her body. "What's goin' on?" She asked. "Where am I?" Last she remembered, she was in a cold, dark alley.  
  
A doctor approached the bedside. "Glad to see you awake, Gabriel." He said gently, his voice slow and sad.  
  
"We found you in an alley last night, Hades . . ." Aisling said, standing beside the doctor.  
  
"Yeah, after we heard you screaming." Bottle Cap added.  
  
"Can you tell us what happened?" Aisling asked.  
  
Hades looked up at the three pairs of expectant eyes. "Oscar . . ." was all she said; though she barely remembered what had happened.  
  
"So it WAS Oscar . . ." Bottle Cap said quietly.  
  
Aisling turned to the doctor. "Thank you so much, Dr. Malone." She said, shaking his hand. "We can take it from here. Thank you again for all you did."  
  
The doctor nodded and looked at Hades. "Take care of yourself." He said and exited, a sorrowful expression in his gray eyes.  
  
Aisling and Bottle Cap looked at Hades, each fidgeting nervously.  
  
"Whassa' mattah with you two?" Hades asked, eyeing them curiously.  
  
"Uhh . . . Aisling has something to tell you." Bottle Cap said, nudging Aisling.  
  
Aisling frowned at Bottle Cap and then looked at Hades. "Um . . . So, Hades. Oscar must've soaked ya real good . . ."  
  
Hades frowned. "Ya don't gotta rub it in, Aisling. I wasn't in the mood ta fight, I din't wanna, besides, I'm too weak . . ."  
  
"Hades." Aisling interrupted, "you . . . you lost the baby."  
  
Hades blinked and stared at Aisling. "W-What'd you just say?"  
  
"You lost the baby, Hades." Aisling said more quietly.  
  
"No . . . No! No I can't!" Hades said, beginning to panic.  
  
"We're sorry, Hades . . ." Bottle Cap said softly, biting her lip.  
  
Aisling reached out to touch Hades' hand, but Hades yanked it away. "Don't touch me!" She screeched and pulled her knees up to her chest, ignoring the pain in the lower stomach. "No! No . . . no no no no no no!" She began to sob quietly.  
  
Aisling and Bottle Cap exchanged concerned glances.  
  
"My baby!" Hades wailed, her face already streaked with tears. "Why? WHY?!" She screamed. "WHY DID YOU TAKE MY BABY, TOO?!"  
  
"Hades, it'll be okay . . ." Bottle Cap offered.  
  
"No it won't!" She sobbed. "My baby is gone! . . . She's gone! And she's all I had left! All I had left of Mush . . . now he's gone! He's all gone!"  
  
Aisling and Bottle Cap quietly slipped from the room, leaving Hades to dwell in her never-ending misery.  
  
Hades, curled up in a tight ball on the bed, was crying hysterically. "It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair!" She kept mumbling over and over. Why? Why did God take her baby, too? She needed the baby. It was the only part of Mush she had left. But now, she had nothing. She had absolutely nothing, she knew nothing, relied on nothing, lived with nothing, was filled with nothing . . . she WAS nothing.  
  
Why was she being punished? What had she done wrong? Her whole life she had always been punished. Why? Why her? Why Mush? Why the baby?  
  
The pain was so overwhelming. It consumed her mind, her body, her soul. "What soul?" She then questioned herself. "I have no soul. I'm empty." All hope was lost.  
  
Although her flesh was hot and sweaty, there was a chilling cold creeping inside of her. In her heart, in her stomach, and in her bones.  
  
Sobbing, she pulled Mush's pocket watch from her pocket and gazed at it. She tossed it onto the nightstand beside the bed and threw herself onto the pillow and cried.  
  
**  
  
Later that evening, Aisling sat with Hades, holding her hand.  
  
"It's just . . ." Hades sniffled, "it's just not fair!"  
  
"I know, Hades, I know . . . But you've gotta face reality. I mean, these things happen . . . and they're terrible and unfair, but they're a part of life." Aisling tried to explain.  
  
Hades looked at Aisling. "Have you ever been in love, Aisling? I mean, like, REAL love. . . true love, pure love, deep DEEP love?"  
  
Aisling shook her head slowly. "No." She said softly.  
  
Hades was silent for a minute, and then she shook her head and nearly laughed. "Ya know. . . ." She started, "I was going to name her Faith." But, there was no faith. Faith was gone . . . lost. Hades knew without faith, and Faith, she wouldn't last long. 


	14. A Stop In Time

Hades lay awake in bed. It was well past midnight. The pale moonlight shone through the window, dimly lighting the room in an eerie blue-silver, and seeming to animate the shadows.  
  
"Why is this happening to me?" She thought, sitting up. "Why is the world against me?" She felt like crying, but wasn't sure if she had any tears left to cry.  
  
A gentle breeze drifted in through the open window, blowing through Hades' hair. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Mush . . ." She whispered. "Mush?" She opened her eyes, half-expecting to him in front of her.  
  
She laid back, longing to be wrapped in Mush's strong arms, longing to hear him whisper in her ear, longing to look into his chocolate brown eyes. Tears began to form in her dry eyes as she listened to the soft ticking of Mush's pocket watch. And suddenly, it stopped.  
  
Hades looked over and gently took the watch into her hands. She opened the cover and looked at it's face. "It's stopped." She said out loud. She thought for a minute. "The time . . . It's stopped . . . Why?" A slow, relieved smile spread across her lips. She knew why. "The time has come." She set the watch down delicately and pulled out a pen and paper from the drawer.  
  
"Dear Aisling and Bottle Cap . . ." She wrote. 


	15. The Letter

"Dear Ailsing and Bottle Cap," Hades wrote,  
  
"I love you both so much . . . But I'm afraid that it's time to say goodbye. The time has come. Don't worry about me - I'll be fine. I promise. And you'll be fine, too. You've both been the best friends anyone could ever have . . . and I want you to know how sorry I am for leaving you like this . . . but I just can't stay here any longer. I don't belong here. I belong with Mush. Yes . . . I belong with Mush and our baby. We all belong together in a place where can be together forever. Don't think of me as selfish . . . although I suppose I AM being selfish. But I know what I must do . . . and what is meant to be, must be done. Tell Blink thank-you for all he's done and give him my love.  
  
Tell Spot that I'm truly sorry, but it wasn't meant to be . . . and also tell him that he has done more for me than he knows. Tell him that I love him.  
  
Tell Skittery that he was always the person I went to first when I was in a bad mood. Tell him that I always looked forward to our complaining partied at the end of the day.  
  
Tell Les that someday he WILL be a rich man. All he has to do is keep on dreaming. Tell him he was like a little brother to me, and that whenever he needs me, I'll be there.  
  
Tell Race that I'll miss beating him in poker, and that I'll miss talking to him late at night when I couldn't sleep. Tell him that he always made me laugh, and gave me such a different perspective of the world. Give him lots of my love, and tell him that I'll miss him.  
  
Tell everyone else that they all made a huge impact on my life, and I love everyone so much. But now, it's time to go on. To ascend into better places. To places where I have family, to where I can be happy and free. It's for the best - trust me. You have no reason not to.  
  
Remember me always. I will remember you, and watch over you. When the summer sun sinks below the horizon, I'll be watching. When the autumn leaves fall and crinkle beneath your feet as the crisp breeze blows though your hair, I'll be listening. When the snow falls so peacefully from the gray winter sky, I'll be smiling. When the first flower bloom and the air is fresh and clean in the spring, I'll be with you. Always. I love you both . . . and now, it's time to go.  
  
Love Always, Gabriel 'Hades' Lansley" 


	16. In The End

Hades got up and crept over to Aisling's bunk. She placed the letter on Aisling's stomach. She smiled. "Bye." She whispered. She grabbed the pocket watch and snuck out of the room, into the boys' room. She stood in the middle of the room silently, just to make sure everyone was asleep. When she was sure they were, she climbed into Mush's bed.  
  
"No more hurting . . ." She whispered as she took a small, sharp knife from under the bed.  
  
"No more crying . . ." She examined the blade.  
  
"No more suffering . . ." She slowly brought the knife to her left wrist.  
  
"No more being alone . . ." She took a deep breath and put pressure on the blade as she slowly slid it across her skin, cutting deep.  
  
She transferred the knife to her other hand and ran the blade of her right wrist.  
  
Both cuts were deep, and surprisingly she wasn't in pain. She watched her own warm blood pour over her skin and drip onto the sheets of Mush's bed.  
  
"It's going to take to long . . ." She thought calmly. She engraved two more deep cuts on each wrist. More blood spilled from the wounds. "I'm coming, Mushy." She whispered.  
  
She sat there, perfectly still and silent. She was very peaceful; smiling, as if recalling some forgotten memory.  
  
And she was. Memories of her life filed through her head. Images. Images of her mother cradling her in her arms. Images of opening a small red box tied with a green ribbon on Christmas. Images of her fifth birthday and the chocolate cake her mother had made. Images of watching from outside as her parents were killed in a fire. Images of the first day she lived on the streets. Images of the alley she had called home for two years. Images of Spot, and the night he found her and brought her to Brooklyn. Images of Aisling and Bottle Cap smiling. Images of the first time she saw Mush. Images of the first time she sold 100 papers. Images of the day Mush asked her to be his girl. Images of her and Mush's first kiss. Images of the night she lost her virginity to Mush, of the moment she found out she was going to have his baby, of the last time she took a walk with Mush in the silky moonlight, of the day she found out he was sick, of his proposal. Images of the moment he died, of his funeral, of sitting with Blink in the secret spot, of the day Spot told her he loved her, of Oscar's cruel crooked smile, of when she found out the baby was gone, and finally, images of the knife slicing through her pale, white skin.  
  
She smiled. She was going to see him. She was going to be reunited with him. She was going to be with him forever and ever. She wouldn't have to live without him anymore. It was time to end. Time to end her life of misery and pain. Time to end her loneliness and emptiness.  
  
Hades looked at her bloodied wrists. It would be hours yet before it would all be over. She shook her head. That wouldn't do. She slowly brought the knife to her chest. "My heart was pierced when Mush left . . ." She whispered. "So let this blade fill in that hole . . . and bring me to him." She pulled the knife back, and then pushed it forward once more, piercing through her skin, and right through her hear. She drew in a quick breath as he eyes slowly closed, and her frail body fell limp in Mush's bed.  
  
She didn't feel any pain. For the pain of being stabbed in the heart is nothing compared to the pain of losing your true love. Nothing is more chilling than being truly alone . . . and nothing is more blissful than being reunited wit that one who left you alone. And nothing is truer than the age old saying: Love conquers all.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~* The End *~ 


End file.
